"Not all rejections are heartbreaks, but all rejections are heartbreaking." this!!!! personally have very much taken myself out of the Scene bc sometimes the "x is just not that into you" is just too much to bare. hopefully in time it will hurt less <3 v keen to read more of your writing Maia! am a youtube and pod fan x
“Dating is hard. Heartbreak is hard. But we do them to feel more human. And to do the most human thing of all is to boldly accept each and every time that horrible, empty idea: he’s just not that into you. But someone else will be.” This should be in the terms and conditions of Bumble or Tinder and that other dating app
I really enjoyed this! I recently watched your SATC video and love all the references there and here. Even saying "unceremoniously dumped" reminds me of that part in the first SATC movie when the girls go to the auction.
The "younger women don’t ask for rituals" line got me. I can relate with my exes and my male friends. It's tough to watch. Maybe it's because I don't identify as completely heterosexual, but I don't hate the younger women. It makes me extremely frustrated towards the men, who I used to respect and thought it was mutually returned. However their treatment towards young female partners ends up skewing my perception of my relationship with these types of men.
I'm happy I saw your liquorice pizza video before YT did you wrong, as you encouraged me to watch An Education. Not normally up my alley, but I thought it was excellent and made me reflect on the men and their younger feminine partners in my life.
Last of all, love the Canada references. I am trying hard to get offline + break my internet addiction, but I still regularly keep up with you and CJ the X. I'm from Nova Scotia, so I have to let you know that if you decide to move cities, it's not much different out here in the maritimes. I'm in a similar boat as you, but different river. Maybe we should try a territory to shake up the trenches a bit? I liked your ending too, cause you and Carrie are right about hope and The One is out there. Hope things get easier for you soon.
I, too, toast with my friends as we grovel in our mutual pains. But, I'm tired of it. Even removing this sick camaraderie, there's the inevitable act of scrutinizing our own life, based on what we have and have not done, who we have and have not dated. Sometimes I tell myself that perhaps I'm not allowing myself to be loved the way I want to be loved, but here I am! Arms open! Asking for the chance for something, anything, which could grow. The other day I professed my love for a friend and was answered with "I don't know what to do." So, here I am, yet again, picking myself up to move on, feeling like I lost one of my most valuable relationships. But, as you say, I am feeling more human because of what I did, and I'm trying to not become bitter.
Thank you for sharing this deeply moving and thoughtfully resonant essay. And thank you for trusting your audience to feel comfortable sharing such beautiful vulnerability and introspection.
We're of a similar age and mindset when it comes to those experiences. I feel your pain in sharing those persistent yearnings and longings for connection and intimacy, as well as wrestling with the temptations for bitterness and self-loathing that it naturally entails.
I also feel deep empathy for the melancholy that comes with understanding that no-one is owed companionship or that recognition of my precociousness will dissipate with time.
You articulated those sentiments as eloquently as anyone could, it's a really meaningful connection to share. Regardless of whatever heartbreak comes our way, we keep moving forward, and doing the best we can to make our way in the world.
I hope you'll be rewarded and validated for your time in the trenches as time passes. Take care Maia.
mid to late 20s can be super hard Maia, but then at some point it just stops, something clicks, and you wonder what were you so worried about just few days ago. And its not that these dreadful feelings won't come back, they will, but they won't shackle you as much as they did the first time you felt it in your 20s.
Wow I fucking love the Sargent painting u paired with ur writing. It hit me in the chest and was so close to home. Too relatable.
"Not all rejections are heartbreaks, but all rejections are heartbreaking." this!!!! personally have very much taken myself out of the Scene bc sometimes the "x is just not that into you" is just too much to bare. hopefully in time it will hurt less <3 v keen to read more of your writing Maia! am a youtube and pod fan x
“Dating is hard. Heartbreak is hard. But we do them to feel more human. And to do the most human thing of all is to boldly accept each and every time that horrible, empty idea: he’s just not that into you. But someone else will be.” This should be in the terms and conditions of Bumble or Tinder and that other dating app
this was beautiful. I want to give you a hug after reading this
I really enjoyed this! I recently watched your SATC video and love all the references there and here. Even saying "unceremoniously dumped" reminds me of that part in the first SATC movie when the girls go to the auction.
The "younger women don’t ask for rituals" line got me. I can relate with my exes and my male friends. It's tough to watch. Maybe it's because I don't identify as completely heterosexual, but I don't hate the younger women. It makes me extremely frustrated towards the men, who I used to respect and thought it was mutually returned. However their treatment towards young female partners ends up skewing my perception of my relationship with these types of men.
I'm happy I saw your liquorice pizza video before YT did you wrong, as you encouraged me to watch An Education. Not normally up my alley, but I thought it was excellent and made me reflect on the men and their younger feminine partners in my life.
Last of all, love the Canada references. I am trying hard to get offline + break my internet addiction, but I still regularly keep up with you and CJ the X. I'm from Nova Scotia, so I have to let you know that if you decide to move cities, it's not much different out here in the maritimes. I'm in a similar boat as you, but different river. Maybe we should try a territory to shake up the trenches a bit? I liked your ending too, cause you and Carrie are right about hope and The One is out there. Hope things get easier for you soon.
I, too, toast with my friends as we grovel in our mutual pains. But, I'm tired of it. Even removing this sick camaraderie, there's the inevitable act of scrutinizing our own life, based on what we have and have not done, who we have and have not dated. Sometimes I tell myself that perhaps I'm not allowing myself to be loved the way I want to be loved, but here I am! Arms open! Asking for the chance for something, anything, which could grow. The other day I professed my love for a friend and was answered with "I don't know what to do." So, here I am, yet again, picking myself up to move on, feeling like I lost one of my most valuable relationships. But, as you say, I am feeling more human because of what I did, and I'm trying to not become bitter.
test
Thank you for sharing this deeply moving and thoughtfully resonant essay. And thank you for trusting your audience to feel comfortable sharing such beautiful vulnerability and introspection.
We're of a similar age and mindset when it comes to those experiences. I feel your pain in sharing those persistent yearnings and longings for connection and intimacy, as well as wrestling with the temptations for bitterness and self-loathing that it naturally entails.
I also feel deep empathy for the melancholy that comes with understanding that no-one is owed companionship or that recognition of my precociousness will dissipate with time.
You articulated those sentiments as eloquently as anyone could, it's a really meaningful connection to share. Regardless of whatever heartbreak comes our way, we keep moving forward, and doing the best we can to make our way in the world.
I hope you'll be rewarded and validated for your time in the trenches as time passes. Take care Maia.
so unbelievably good
mid to late 20s can be super hard Maia, but then at some point it just stops, something clicks, and you wonder what were you so worried about just few days ago. And its not that these dreadful feelings won't come back, they will, but they won't shackle you as much as they did the first time you felt it in your 20s.